Are You Married To Your Phone?

Is that a cell phone in your pocket, or are you just not all that happy to see me?
You seem distracted. No really...go on take that call.
No seriously, I don’t mind.
I’m sure whatever it is, is really important. Could be the kids wondering if there’s any milk in the fridge.
Maybe it’s your boyfriend or girlfriend just checking to see where you are. Nice!!
Perhaps your mom wants to tell you about that funny thing she saw on Dr. Phil.
You’d better take the call. Your Grandmother might be out of Werther’s or there could be a really funny squirrel in someone’s backyard. You’d better answer.

Someone might need to tell you what they had for lunch, or that funny thing the dog did at the park. It might be someone calling to apologize for calling earlier.

If it’s my dad calling, he’s hit dial by accident. You’re about to hear him eating a blue-berry bran muffin while taking a country drive. He wouldn’t call you purposely. Not, while barrelling down a gravely road at 30km and hr. That’d be dangerous.

Maybe I just have a habit of hating things I can’t afford- but I’m having a hard time embracing the cell phone. I’ve yet to receive a call from a cell by anyone who is; in trouble, in hospital, in labour, incarcerated. Mostly they just seem to make contact when they are out-and-about, running out of battery charge, slightly-out-of-range, outnumbered by “hot chicks”.

Still, we all know the panicked look of someone who realizes there phone is out of power. It’s horrible to watch. They start sweating and eyeing your outlets for a charger...

My friend Laurie Boese sent me a song idea and some lyrics. I finished it off. Sound bites to follow someday.

ARE YOU MARRIED TO YOUR PHONE?

Does your cell phone have a wedding ring?
Do you always have to bring that thing?
Every time we meet
Get together to talk or eat
Do you need it everywhere you go
The concert hall and the picture show
Would it pout if it got left at home
Are you married to your phone?

chorus:Are you married to your phone
Does it ever let you out alone?
Do you live and breathe for the dial tone
Are you married to your phone.

Does your cell phone have a wedding ring?
Do you always have to bring that thing
Every time we meet
Get together to talk or eat
I smiled and asked you up to dance
I brushed my fingers cross your pants
But it seems my hopes were cursed
Motorola got there first.

Chorus

You turn it on first thing each day
While I try to look the other way
Do you ever wonder who owns who?
Should I comeback when your contracts thru?
I don’t think we’ve been alone
Since you said I do and brought it home
The other day when we were sexting,
I looked up and you were texting
Are you married to your phone?

What’s the big emergency
do you sell Avon, or ecstasy
are you Chief of Neuro-surgery?
or just married
to
your
phone.



Photo by J. Ferguson