Letter to a Former Bicycle

In the 70s we hung posters that proudly proclaimed
“If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you its yours, if it doesn’t...it never was”
The person who came up with that never owned a dog,
or had a boyfriend who needed to see Quebec,
or a grandfather who sometimes got confused,
or a parakeet and a cat at the same time
... or a bike.
I, on the other hand, have had all of the above. Make no mistake; If you love something carry a lock and keep close tabs.

I remember that time I loved my 10 speed mountain bicycle enough to give it some freedom on the back step. Off it went in search of adventure never to return. Maybe it was looking for my boyfriend in Quebec, but more likely it snuck off with that bike-thievin’-upstairs-neighbour to trade itself in for small quantities of smack. Either way, my bike never had that “I really miss her and I’m heading back” epiphany that the slogan promised.
But it was mine.
It was definitely mine.
First I mourned, and swore off mountain biking. Then I began to hate other people who had bikes. But secretly, I missed it. I went to places we used to go together- hoping to catch it with someone else. I imagined seeing it everywhere- disguised with black paint.
I tried to convince myself it had nothing to do with me. I’d bought it from someone else, so maybe that bike had been given a little freedom in past relationships. Maybe that bike had problems with commitment.
THEN, a few months back I saw it whoring itself on Craig’s-List of all places.
I’ll admit to a slight heart flutter, but to tell you the truth I was shocked by how little I felt.
Though I instantly recognized it, my bike didn’t look quite the way I remembered. It wasn’t as large and robust. It looked thin and tired. It’s front suspension had been replaced (which didn’t surprise me- he’d always had “issues” in that department).
I saw its picture and finally felt nothing.
See, I’ve moved on.

Dear Stolen Haro mountain bike,
Well you never came back. I waited, but you didn’t come.
I’ve moved on. I have an awesome new green Norco- Cruiser. 3 speed. He’s retro. Ya, I thought that’d bug you. You know how I always had that secret thing for retro. (You were always accusing me of looking!)
Sorry to tell you, but he’s the coolest bike ever...and I do mean ever. Pedal breaks.
So I guess it worked out.
I hardly ever think of you (except when I go uphill).
I held on to your water bottle and lock key for a while, but I didn’t know where to send them, so I tossed them last spring.
Best of luck.
Kath