SWF Seeks Summer Income

Now that the school year is winding down so are the zeros in my bank account. Granted, there was only two of them, but I will miss those little suckers!

It appears the time has come to get one of the job things you people are constantly going on about.
So, this songwriter is now excepting applications from would-be money-givers (or "employers" I think they are called.)

According to the merriam webster dictionary, a "job" is "something done for private advantage." That's not usually the way I roll, but what the heck. The kind dictionary folks even had a link to an audio pronunciation of the word for those of us who were unsure. Go on! Try it out.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/cgi-bin/audio.pl?job00001=job

So future employers; I have a few questions to ask before we firm up the details. First
Have YOU ever been convicted of a crime for which a pardon has not been granted?
This is important. I like to have something good to talk about at break-time- (which I assume will be many and long...yes?). This would be excellent fodder for lunch time chats and possible a song or two.
Secondly, how do you plan to make good use of my drawing, painting, rhyming skills in your company?
Also, I might mention that in my other job as a musician we are usually comp-ed with free drinks. Will this also be the case at your business?
How would you feel about me starting each morning with the phrase "I soooooo DON'T want to be here!!"
Great! I think were ready to talk cash-ola. I need it, and I need alot of it.
I may possibly need it up-front. Did I mention I do calligraphy? Perhaps you could use me in your accounts department scripting pay cheques in old-English fonts?

Anyway. Call anytime soon (while I still have phone service)
Kathy