WHY DO YOU ASK?

Why do you ask?
A very important question!
"Do you want a coffee?" is different from "could I make you a coffee?" I learned this from visiting my mom, who would ask me “Do you want a coffee?” and then would ask me to make one for her too while your up. I fell for it for years- along with the excuse that she didn't want to disturb the dog sleeping nearby.
It was my own fault. I wasn't answering her question with the right question.

Always, always, always ask “why do you ask?”
This rule is especially pertinent when someone asks for details about your schedule.
Remember, knowledge is power. Never answer a devilish question like "What are you doing on Friday night?" without a clear understanding of why you are being asked.
Your chances of getting invited to a cool party are alot slimmer than your chances of being asked to babysit a chinchilla, move a freezer or drive to the airport.

I mean, when you think of it all decent civilized invitations started with "You are invited to blah blah blah at such-n-such a time". They never first insist on knowing what you may or may not being doing at said-time. Do you think the Queen of England ever roped Tony Blair into a meeting with the old "What-cha doin Tuesday?" scam?
Be extrememly suspicious of this question- especially if the time and day in question are early in the week. Nothing fun ever happened on a Monday thru Wednesday. Admitting to an open calendar on any of these days is very bad indeed. The best you can hope for is an invitation to a dance recital. Worste case, you'll be hiding a body, cheating on a urine test or serving coffee at a naked seniors centre.
If I wanted to make coffee wouldn't I go to moms?

"Why do you ask?" has a second cousin called "Why do you wonder?".
It will also work in a pinch.
If you know why they are wondering you will be able to formulate an excuse for that-thing-you-wouldn't-want-to-do-if-you-knew-about-it-straight-up.
For that excuse, might I suggest a bogus "medical proceedure"? Anyone with any cooth at all will refrain from asking you what kind, and cut you a 4-day window of avoidance incase the proceedure really does exist and you might want to describe it to them.

For my friends who are still questioning the importants of "Why do you ask?"
I have a few stories to illustrate my point;

STORY 1:

A few summers back I was talking to a guy I know. He had just finished mowing his lawn and was talking off his shirt. My eye was immediately drawn to the small white object resting in his navel. I didn’t have to be a CSI agent to know he’d of tested positive for Orville Redenbacher.
“Did you have popcorn today?” I asked.
HERE, would have been the place for him to question my question. It seemed random amongst “Your yard looks great” and “What kind of tree is that?” The heat of the day had fogged his judgement I guess.
“I had some yesterday. Why?”
His "why" came too late. His failure to question my question led him to devulge information about his belly buttons ability to harbour snack foods over a 24 period inspite of yard work and gravity.
Don't let this happen to you.

STORY #2
About 10 years ago I got a call from a guy I knew
Him: “Kathy, the reason I am calling is; I’m putting together a photo shoot for a calendar featuring girls and guitars. Each month will feature a pretty girl playing a cool guitar.
I thought about you. Do you still have that awesome 1965 Fender electric?”
It was late.
I wasn’t thinking.
Me: “Yes! I do!!”
Him: “I was wondering if I could borrow it for the shoot?”
Me: OUCH!!

(Somewhere at the bottom of a local landfill is my complimentary copy of a 1998 calendar with a picture of some chick holding my sweet vintage 1965 Fender Mustang guitar between her brand new breasts.)

Things were never the same for me and that guitar.
I sold it a couple of years later. But it was a lesson well learned.
Always ask “Why do you ask?”