The Scale of 1-10...and other things LOVE has ruined.

Many things decay- Some quicker than others- fallen willows, window frames, dead hamsters in an old shoe box. The latest casually is “The Scale from One to Ten”.
Back in the day (and I can say that because I’m over 30) “The Scale from One to Ten” was a perfect system of measuring anything from pain to the hunkiness of the new guy in English class. It was easy and universally understood.
One, was the least hunky a guy could be and five meant he was average.
If new-guy-in-English-class was deemed to be a 10, it meant his sexiness was unsurpassable.
10, you understand, being the highest and last number, was therefore the ceiling of hotness.
This scale was used by boys, girls, men and women all over the world as long as I’ve been alive and maybe even since the beginning of time.

Adam: “Eve, on a scale from one to ten, how badly do you need me to bite that apple?”
Someone or something picked a tiny hole in this perfect 1-10 system. The rain has been seeping in ever since, rotting it from the inside out.

The puss has spread faster than wildfire, leaving girls everywhere to wonder if being rated a "10" by their boyfriends doesn’t still leave room for improvement.

It’s even oozed into the Percentile Chart inspiring people everywhere to exclaim that they are 110 % sure of this or that.
Who do we blame? That’s a good question.

First let’s talk about the Mother’s-Arms-Scale-of-Measurement.When we were kids our mom use to say she loved us “this much” and spread her arms out as wide as possible. It was a lot of love!- two huge arm lengths, and more importantly, it was as far as she could stretch. It was the ceiling, the unsurpassable amount of mom love! If we wanted more mom-love. ..we’d have to hit our mom in the head with an Etch-a-Sketch, bury her in the sandbox and find a mom with bigger arms. But why would we? This one loved us the most- with both arms. What happened to cause moms around town to start announcing “I love you more than my arms can reach” or “I love you this much times x infinity”. It’s just not right.

After a short period of investigation I think we can say with certainty that LOVE itself is the culprit. Love, being the greatest and most confusing of all human emotions, creates in humans a bloated sense of importance. Love, you see is the ceiling. On a scale from 1-10. Love is 10. It’s as good as it gets. But that’s not good enough for love. Love makes people want to be 200% sure of each other and taunts you into saying things like “I love you more than more”. Before you know it, your standing in triage at the hospital describing your appendicitis to a nurse as “11 out of ten”. Because it’s as painful as your lover is hot. If the nurse were to ask you “How much do you hate this pain”. You might answer “more than more!” “Are you sure you need to see a doctor?”, “Yes, a trillion percent sure! And I need it like yesterday!”